no body said it was easy
no one ever said it would be this hard

Three and a half weeks since the last time I wrote in here...I'm proud of myself. I'm no longer a loser addicted to my Xanga. Since then....ummm nothing much has happened. Just school, therapy, and some soccer games I guess. Oh and lots of stupid homeowrk, most of it I haven't done. I've been sick since Friday. It was horrible, the first long weekend a long one and the last until the last week of shcool and I had to stay home, in bed. But I bought season two of the OC on Saturday so I had something to do.

and you kissed me like you meant it
and i knew that you meant it 

The Atlanta trip was fun, most of it atleast, even though it was three weeks ago. I actually liked the play. The walk to the theater and the rides there and back we too long. My dinner was gross. There was a bunch of crap going on. But other than that it was fun. I want to go back and see another play, but the 6 hours trip wasn't really worth it. Oh, so my mom and Doug are going to the Florida Key's in a little over a week and my grandma' and her boyfriend are coming up here to stay with me and Josh. Talk about fun...not. I don't know it might be. But I think I'll stay with Caitlin for a couple days that week so yay. 

without you i was broken, but i'd rather be broke down with you by my side

Five and a half weeks of school left-I think. I can't wait for summer. And now the teachers are really loading work on, I hate it. I failed an Englsih test this week. And have't done more than half of my homework. So I've got so much to do tonight and tomrrow. And I put reading Dawn off until last night. Yea, smart, I know. I ran for 15 minutes straight yesterday in therapy. I was proud of myself, I haven't run in almost 4 months so it was nice to run again. I love the treadmill in the pool, I want one.  Um, I guess I should go do homework. This was pretty pointless but I figured I'd do it anyway. Probably won't write for a while. <3 75

Experience is a hard teacher, it gives you the test first && the lesson later

i think i'd miss you if we'd never even met

Gah...school tomorrow. I don't want to go, I hate that place. Only nine more weeks until summer though. And only 3 days this week because of Atlanta. I'm so excited. It's going to be fun.This Spring Break has been a pretty good one, def. not ready for it to end. But I guess it just mean closer to summer and July 5<3 so it's okay. I need to still finish Night but I don't really feel like reading at the moment. So I'll probably read it tonight around 11 or so. Mom gave me my car back to go to the soccer game...even though it rained the whole time, I still had fun. And I've been good and not gotten it taken away since then

Whoever said, "What you don't know can't hurt you" was a complete & total moron. Because..for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.
*Grey`s Anatomy *

Last night was fun. I was gonna go somewhere with Daniel...but those plans kinda fell apart. I watched Harry Potter...for like the 4th time yay. Then went and got my Jade and went to eat at Amigos. Fun times...Umm, are you checking out his ass?. You know you were Jade. Keva Juice after that...danicing in the car and the guy that looked like Mr. J. Ahh...talk about funny. Drove around, we gonna go to Billy's but that didn't happen. So we went back to her house for alittle while, then I came home. Took some stuff to Caitlin and went to the BP and got a bunch of chocolate, umm yea, I felt like a pig after I ate all that. But it was good.

He’s nice to everybody..the problem is that when
he was nice to me..I thought it was because I was special

Today. Um..I wasted too much gas. Went out to get groceries for mom. Then to Target to get makeup. It's too expensive, grr. And the long way home because  I thought this guy was following me. Yes, I'm kinda paraniod. Now I'm waching the George Mason-UConn game, in OT and George Mason's winning. Ahh...it makes me happy. I might go to the baseball game tomorrow if I can get someone to go with me. I feel like having school spirit. And  I guess this is all for now. I'll write later. George Mason WON!!!!! woo hoo.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow

one good thing about music,
when it hits you, you feel no pain.
* Bob Marley *

So...the last week or however long its been since I wrote in here has been pretty fun, when I wasn't at home. Spent most of it with my wonderful Jade. Thursday night umm...went to JAde's watched the OC, some of a basketball game I think and Jonah took me home. Friday, yea the night I got in a shitload of trouble. Baseball game with Jade. Came back to Jade's and ate. Went To Billy's with Jade, Garrett, and Bulch. Got home way too late, mom says I lied to her, which I still don't think I did. But the night was def. alot of fun. Should have just stayed at Jades....I'm stupid.

I need someone to ease my mind,
but sometimes a someone is hard to find.
*Smashing Pumpkins *

Saturday mom took my car away and went to Doug's. I had to wait on Josh to get home before I could get food, which was almost 10, whatever. Mom made her stupid new rule, car has to be home before 11 and if I want to go somewhere, she'll take me after that...hmmm..wasting gas maybe? So pretty much the past 4 days I've been yelled at constantly, oh so fun. Sunday, went back to Jade's. Stayed there for a while, and tried to come home early. But I got to a red light and there were like 3 cops aound me so I took the long way home and ended up getting home at 1045. Mom wasn't mad about the time I got home but told me it was stupid to take a different way home just becasue there were three cops driving right beside me. Yeah, okay.

sometimes we must let go to know what`s right

Yesterday...I finally got to see my Caitlin!! She got me these really cute pair of sunglasses in New York. I love them. We went out to eat after getting yelled at some more. Then we went shopping, kinda, more like just drove to store and walked around. But it was fun. She went home and I went to see When A Stranger Calls with Jade and Jenn and some other people. Yeah, that movie creeped me out. Stayed at Jade's because I couldn't stay here. We watched some of Titanic and I had a nice talk with Jonah. I don't think we've ever really talked since we broke up, which was like a year ago, so that was nice. And I think I'm finally fine with everything. And that's always good. Mom was supossed to come get me at 1030 this morning but got there at 930. How nice. We actually had a conversation a few minutes ago, without yelling. I still don't have my car though. grrr. I better get it to go to the soccer game tonight. Well I need to go eat. Write later. <3 And it shouldn't SNOW on Spring Break.

For some moments in life there are no words.
* Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory *

in dreams, you can lose your heartache
* Cinderella

Today = the best birthday EVER! ahh...it's been so great. Soo...I woke up to Caitlin singing to me or maybe just telling me happy birthday, i was pretty asleep. then she came by for a little while before she had to leave me and go to New York...*tear*tear* and I finally gave her her birthday present, yea I know it was last month, shut up! When mom came home we went and got my license...I'm so happy I passed, I thought I was going to fail. And then I made mom drive home...yea I'm cool.

I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you¢¾.
* Dawson's Creek

So...now's when today turned freaking awesome. Okay, so I went to physical therapy and on the way I decided to take a long way and almost got myself lost. But I finally got there. That doesn't matter though. I was in therapy and getting my knee iced and guess who walks in and gives me a birthday present......BRAD NUCKLES. haha I was about to freak out. I got a signed ball and a sweater thingy. And he tlaked to me for a little while, and suprisingly, I actually talked to him too. It was so awesome. Brad Nuckles...yay. I should have called Caitlin and gotten him to talk to her, but no, I was to busy being weird. Okay, so maybe I sound like a freak, but it's Brad Nuckles...wow. And if you don't know who he is and you live anywhere close to here then you= a loser. So anyway...I love my aunt for setting that up.

Certian nights you have a feeling.
Something's going to happen & it's not going to be good.

After all that wonderfullness- is that even a word? - I called like everyone to tell them hah. My other Aunt and cousins called and sang to me, it was sweet. Went to eat with mom Doug and Josh. Picked up my Amy...yay I finally got to see Amy! We went home for a little while and  then decided to go to the coinstar in Kroger...yea. We messed it up. But the guy fixed it, we felt like idiots. But we got like 15 dollars out of it so that was cool. We drove around for a little while, went to random people's house...well one person. And Gray Station Rd. is scary. It's too dark at night. I had to bring Matt his cd so we did that then went back and stood outside at Jade's for a while. Talk about cold. But I had fun. Took Amy to one of her firends houses that lived close to Jade and Jonah tried to honk the horn the whole way there...and it was like 10 something. After that we came home and her dad came and got her. Soo...that was my awesome birthday. MAy not sound that cool, but it was. haha Brad Nuckles...yes. Best birthday ever...and there's still 45 minutes left..haha notl ike anything's gonna happen, but okay. Maybe I'll go eat cake. I'll write later. <3 And thanks to everyone who called, sang or told me happy birthday, I love you!

Where I come from, having a dream doesn't make you smart.
Knowing it wont come true? That does.
* The OC *